Studying Sociology has become a double edged sword for me. Over the holiday season, my sense of gender roles and norms becomes heightened. Most of the time I have to keep my mouth shut and ‘go with the flow’, but sometimes I decide that I want to engage in a conversation that will hopefully lead to a better understanding for everyone concerned. This is how I know that I should probably be a professor, but that is for another post. This post is about how people can be one way in their day to day life and then the holidays come, we meet up with family and friends that we do not see daily and things go back to the way they previously were.

I am sure that everyone out there has a story about how the holidays bring out a different side of people. But, what if the side that it brings out is actually the regular, day to day, side and we only experience it at this time of year? When you rarely see an individual, you lose the feel for their personality. In some instances this can be good, but it is a shock to the system when you have to deal with each other for hours at a time. Thinking about this situation can bring up many things. Memories that have been washed of melancholy and are now shiny little examples of what we crave around the holidays. We forget the fighting and the strife and focus on the good. This may be good for the psyche, but in the long run it makes it more difficult to function year to year.

By letting the past stand as a beacon of what the holidays should be, we lose sight of what is real. We try to make everything perfect, to make it match up to our expectations of what can be based on what was. And in this, we fail to see the difficulty that falling back into our previous roles can cause. When gender roles are so tied up in the way that we function, in these situations, it makes things tense. In even the most enlightened family situations sometimes those gender norms sneak up and bite us.

When we interact with different divisions of our family, we may slide backwards when it comes to things we are willing to do to keep the peace. On a normal day, one might be a staunch feminist, but when faced with a holiday, feminism might be put on the back burner. This is a disservice to the holiday season! Better to make it a learning experience. After all, when are you going to get all these people together again? It really is a great platform for dispelling gender norms and for subverting the roles that we often fall into.

So, how do we do this? It may be difficult, but it has to be done. Sometimes there are gender norms already being subverted that you can point out as a starting place. In my family, my mother does the bulk of the planning, my parents go shopping together, my mom cooks the meal and my dad washes the dishes. Although there are still a few gender norms being practiced here, there are also a couple being subverted. 50 years ago (or yesterday, in some places) the mother in this scenario would have done everything listed above, while the dad merely poured drinks and sat in the living room enjoying family and friends. The ladies would have spent the majority of the time in the kitchen; cooking, cleaning and sometimes even eating, away from the family. Yes we have come a long way, but we cannot merely rest on our laurels. We need to continue talking, dispelling, subverting and fighting until there are no gender norms. On the day that we no longer hear the words “that is women’s work” or “this is a mans job” uttered we will finally be equal and free of the constraints that come with being cast in a mold of social and cultural making.

Until next time, good luck in your fight, fellow feminists! We can go further together than we ever could alone so keep it up!

Peace and happy subverting,

Chantale aka hippiegrrl

During my time writing for Backwash (Hippiegrrl Explains It All – archived here), I wrote many posts on holiday shopping and alternatives to giving store bought, big box stuff. Over the years, the writer and I have tried many alternative ways of shopping (or not shopping) for the holidays. Taking the handmade pledge, pushing ourselves and others to buy local, participating in buy nothing day and culminating in an actual buy nothing christmas in 2010. The underlying urge to change the holiday season has been pushed along by our economic status, but the outcome has made the holidays more enjoyable.

Instead of focusing on buying tons of things and rushing around at the last minute, we have been able to take a step back and breathe. Here are a few ideas that we have come up with that you might like to try. They will make your holiday season more meaningful and less stressful. And after all, shouldn’t spending time with family and friends during this time of year really be the priority anyway?

- Framing a picture that I find in my collection and wrapping it up for someone whom it will be meaningful.
- Baking a batch of cookies and packaging them up in a lovely way for the receiver.
- Making a piece of jewellery that is one-of-a-kind and speaks to the style of the person who will wear it.
- Giving a donation to a charitable organization in the name of the person receiving the gift.
- Creating a coupon book of your time. Each coupon gives the receiver the ability to cash in on your time. For example – “this coupon entitles you to 1 hour of help in your garden!”

The best part of the holidays, by far, is the ability to gather with loved ones and friends. That is my favourite gift of all. The gift of time spent with people that enjoy each others company. If we could all have more of that, the whole year could be a lot better.

Enjoy your holiday season and try to remain as stress-free as possible. Remember that it isn’t about what you give or receive. The memories that are made are priceless.

Peace – Chantale

The holiday season is here. Black Friday (or Buy Nothing Day as we like to celebrate it) has come and gone and we are left with images of crazed shoppers trampling each other on the way into the local Wal-Mart. Highly motivated, yes, but for the right reasons?

In an attempt to make a difference this holiday season, we are going to pledge to purchase handmade items. This pledge will be made through an online group called, interestingly enough, buyhandmade.org. This group is just what the activist ordered. A way to buy products that are produced by the seller. A way to know beyond a shadow of doubt that the products you are purchasing are made by artisans in good working conditions.

Let me back track a bit and explain why this handmade pledge has been made:

- Over the past few years the production for products sold in the US has been largely shipped overseas.
- Products made in foreign countries do not undergo the same scrutiny that products in the US do.
- Working conditions in foreign countries are not monitored in the same way that working conditions in the US are.
- Buying handmade goods will insure that the products purchased were made by the seller under good working conditions.
- We hate malls.
For the reasons above:

We Pledge To Buy Handmade!

Buying handmade isn’t the only pledge I took this holiday season. Buying local is another promise I hope to fulfill. If it works out that I can somehow buy local AND handmade that would be the tops! I’ll follow up in the coming weeks to show my progress and give you some insight into specific reasons for shopping local and handmade. In the meantime – happy shopping! Just remember that people are more important than things. That should be the force that drives you this holiday season, while looking for the perfect expression of love and gratitude for your friends and family members.

Peace!
Hippiegrrl

here are my three favourite local shoppes on the elmwood strip – check them out!
Spoiled Rotten – [where: 831 Elmwood Avenue, Buffalo, NY 14222]
Everything Elmwood – [where: 740 Elmwood Avenue, Buffalo, NY 14222]
Clutch – [where: 814 Elmwood Avenue, Buffalo, NY 14222]

A series of revelations have come to me over the past few weeks. I used to think that looking at a job as being “beneath me” was something that I should never do. That I could never be too good for anything. While this is most certainly true for most things in life, it is not necessarily true about work. Having been told that I should feel “lucky to have a job”, I felt more degraded than humbled. An additional straw was added when I was asked a direct question and before I could answer was told “no smart remarks, just answer the question”. Alright then.

With that, I have finally decided that I AM too good for a specific job. I am WAY too good for this job. I have realized that I AM above it. Being overqualified for a position is fine in the short run, but when you have been doing that same job for over a year, it starts to get old. When people start to get tired of your smartass remarks and tell you so, it might be time to move on.

The archive that I posted today was about coffee and how much we love it. Also – it deals with fair trade and good business practices. Due to my interest in these types of things and my overwhelming need to not be a corporate slob, I have decided that I will do whatever it takes to get out of my current situation. If that means that I have to give up my cellphone, I will. If that means that I have to sell cd’s, dvd’s, books, clothes, electronics, etc. to make a little bit to afford my rent, I will. If I have to take my beads out and turn my hobby into a part time job, I will. Anything to get off the corporate treadmill that is slowly sucking the life out of me.

Up until today everything was okay. It was not fantastic, but it was okay. As of today, it is no longer okay and I am going to actively do something about it. Although I was trying to stick it out, I see there is just no longer any point in doing that. There is no point in trying to make things work when the individuals around you make it super difficult to stay positive and be yourself.

In the end that is all I want to be – true to myself. True to my values, thoughts, feelings, aspirations and understanding of the world around me. Free to be who I am without being told to tone it down or modify my behaviour. Out from under the thumb of corporate culture. Away from this world of misery for a paycheck.

Peace and happy job hunting!
Chantale

appropriate links:
looking for a job?
monster
career builder
indeed
snag a job
mashable jobs
simply hired

coffee is one of the best reasons to get up in the morning. at least that is how i feel about it. it was quite easy for me to become addicted to this liquid while working in a cafe. one free pound of beans per week and as much coffee as i could ingest during my shift was enough to get me hooked. who wouldn’t get addicted?

at that time, in the mid-late 90’s, i must admit that i was pretty much in the dark about coffee. i knew nothing about fair trade, shade grown or bird friendly coffee. i didn’t realize the effect that the coffee i was drinking had on people in hot climates picking beans for less than $1.00 per pound.

then one day the mail came and there was a coffee trade magazine in the mix. since we weren’t that busy i decided to sit and read up on the coffee industry. i came across this great article about an organization called “coffee kids”. their mission was simple -

to help coffee-farming families improve the quality of their lives.

reading on in the article i learned the following -

•Coffee is the second-most traded commodity in the world economy, after oil.
•The global coffee industry $60 billion annually. Coffee farmers earn as little as 4 cents a pound for the coffee they pick by hand.
•For every pound of gourmet coffee sold, small-coffee farmers receive between 12¢ and 25¢.
•25 million families around the world work in the coffee-fields and totally depend on the coffee crop as their only source of income.

these statistics are mind boggling, considering we were selling pounds of coffee at our cafe for anywhere from $9-$15 per pound (and even higher for types such as kenya aa ($25/pound) and jamaica blue mountain ($30/pound). after reading the article, i spoke to our district manager to find out if there was any way that we could start looking into fair trade coffee. i was told to speak to the owner of the cafe i worked for. a few days later i had a conversation with our owner and was told that fair trade coffee was too expensive. this answer coming from a lady that drove around in a bmw and lived in a good size home while paying her own employees well below the standard for baristas in the coffeehouse industry. i’m not sure where i thought i would get with my suggestion, but i had hoped to see a little bit of goodwill on the part of the company i worked for.

needless to say, this was the beginning of the end for me at that particular coffee establishment. it was sort of the last straw to find that my employer wouldn’t even consider something that would make the company better global citizens and, in the long run, help many people in need. fair trade is important. it saves lives and mends families.

if you are a coffee drinker (or tea totaller, cocoa consumer or chocolate fanatic) please consider buying fair trade for these products. whenever you visit your favourite coffeehouse be sure to ask for fair trade products. if each of us does our part to keep up the push on these coffee places, eventually everyone will carry the best and most conscious products available. and believe me, the cup of coffee that you know helped the whole supply chain better their lives is the best cuppa java you will ever sip!

peace – hippiegrrl

links of use for this topic…

frankenbucks campaign from organic consumers
fair trade federation
global exchange
make trade fair from oxfam international

where to find fair trade products in Buffalo and Rochester –
Lexington Co-Operative Market
Abundance Co-Operative Market
One World Goods
The Coffee Connection
Java’s
Lori’s Natural Foods

I always say that I want to live in the seventies, but I never explain why. There are many reasons, and so I will be sharing a series of pieces on things I love from the seventies. The first of these is the roller rink… Enjoy and please come back soon to see the next installment!

Now, as you know, I was born in 1974, which actually makes me a child of the 80′s. I did most of my roller skating in the 80′s, but wish I could have been around for the roller disco days. I would have loved to be on a roller disco team, skating to hits of the 70′s. I mean, Xanadu was one of my favourite movies as a kid, so you see where this obsession might come from.

When I attended church (way back when) the youth group used to take us to the Rainbow Roller Rink, in Tonawanda, NY, to skate. I had a pair of roller skates that were mine, but they wouldn’t let me use them there so I had to rent with everyone else. A bit like bowling, if only for the shared footwear.

Here were a few key elements of skate night – rolling up to the snack bar to buy french fries with malt vinegar (good thing that writerchaz was not around then, he would have never chatted me up), ladies choice, trying to partner skate but failing miserably, almost making it into a competition but being yanked out by the mini christian coalition that gave us the bus ride to the event, and trying to pee in a bathroom with ceramic tiled floors – what a silly thing to do to the kids with the skates.

If it were the seventies I would have been able to wear awesome skate outfits (covered in rainbows) and skate semi-professionally on a local team. I would have skated to disco hits and won trophies for my efforts. I would have dated a roller disco guy and found secret areas of the roller rink to make out during “all skate” or “ladies choice”. Instead, I had the 80′s, cleancut christian version of roller skating. We could barely hold hands without one of the chaperones skating up and breaking our grasp. The boys were not too good on their feet, so most of the time the girls would skate in groups. It was fun and boring at the same time. The songs were all 80′s hits, since this was after the point at which disco was announced to be dead. I did learn how to skate backwards, so that was cool.

If only I could have been born 10 years earlier, I would have been a roller disco queen.

Peace – Chantale

Something fun:

Now that my birthday is over (and it was lovely I might add) I am ready to move on to the other November holiday. I bet you thought (judging from the title) that this was going to be a post about the December holiday season. Well – you were wrong! Before we start shopping for Christmas/Chanukah/Kwanzaa we need to celebrate Thanksgiving. I realize that each year the Holiday shopping season begins earlier and earlier, but I like to wait until 1 December to shop. That’s just me. Maybe you are different. Either way – let’s talk turkey instead!

This year we are spending Thanksgiving with my side of the family. My mother will be cooking the bulk of the food, but I will be baking my yearly pumpkin twist cookies. I use a recipe that I have modified from this book – Halloween: 101 Frightfully Fun Ideas. I say modified because I don’t bother with all the additional decorating. They are good with just the pumpkin and vanilla twisted together and don’t really need additional sugar to make them tasty. Although these cookies are a big hit I do like to help in other ways as well.

Last year (when I was working) I ran a turkey drive at my place of business. We raised a bit of money and bought 2 dozen turkeys to give out. Our Helping Hands committee chose two worthy recipient organizations and a couple days before thanksgiving we dropped off the frozen turkeys. It was a great thing to do for the two groups and it also helped us to feel good about the Thanksgiving season.

People tend to gloss over Thanksgiving because it gets in the way of their December Holiday shopping season, but I really feel that we all need to take a moment and think about what Thanksgiving means. What are we thankful for? What we can do to make our world (locally and globally) a better place? What was the original Thanksgiving feast about and how can we carry on a more equal and honest celebration? How do we undo the mistakes of the past and move to a better future? These are things to think about at Thanksgiving and beyond. Before you rush out to the stores to fight with other customers for the “latest holiday item” be sure to reflect on the season and what thankfulness really means.

Peace and Happy Autumn!

Chantale

appropriate links:

- Looking for great baking ideas and recipes? Check out Bakerella or Cakespy or I Heart Cuppycakes!
- How about party planning and/or host(ess)ing? Try Hostess with the Mostess
- Mahalo.com is a good source for How to Cook a Turkey.
- The “mother” of all party planners – Martha Stewart gives ideas for a perfect Thanksgiving!
- Not Martha Stewart, but still interesting and fun – not martha.

There have been days, over the past few months, that I want to crawl up into a ball and forget that I have a job. I do not want to get out of bed in the morning. I do not want to take a shower, get in my car and drive to that place, punch in and start my day. I just want to go to school or the caffe or the library. I do not want to have to deal with the never-ending stream of issues that come with being in the customer service field. I have no choice, so I continue to get out of bed, take a shower, drive my car to that place, punch in and start my day.

This week I have decided that since I have no choice in the matter I might as well attempt to make the best of it, while I have to. Until something better comes along, this is what is. So rather than wallowing in self pity or feeling so badly that I cry all the way home from work, I am going to start looking on the bright side.

WHAT? If you know me personally that is probably the word that is screaming in your head right now. Why would I want to look on the bright side? Well – for my sanity I suppose. If I do not start being a positive person nothing will change. I am hoping that the opposite of that last statement is also true. If I start being a positive person everything will change.

This is all fine and good. I can be a positive person in my little corner of the world. I can schluff off all the crap that comes my way on a daily basis. I can pretend that the ways that people speak to me is not a big deal. I can ignore the pettiness and the insecurity of others and chalk it up to the field I am in. The problem, you see, does not lie within the walls of my workplace. The problem lies with the people I know outside of those four walls.

Since I have started this new, positive, outlook I have had several questions from people close to me.  Questions such as, “what is up with you?” or “why are you acting so weird?”.  C’mon people!  I am trying to be positive here.  Work with me!

Living in Buffalo, it is nearly impossible to stay on the bright side.  There are always people, at every turn, that want to drag you back down into the doldrums of life in the downer city.  If you are positive they are almost always upset with you.  Believe me, I have a hard time staying positive.  It is nearly impossible when things continue to get worse, but I think that if we just except our fate and be negative all the time nothing will ever change.  So this is my plea to everyone.  Please try to be positive.  And if you cannot be positive yourself, please at least let others who are trying to be, be.  I realize that I used to be (and will fall off the wagon many times to return to) negative as well, but this is a new leaf.  New leaves are difficult and cumbersome, but in the end they are the best way to move forward.

So, why not join me in turning over this new leaf?  There are a few great blogs that I have been reading to get me into the swing of things.  Check them out!  They may make you become a positive person as well.  And do not worry – my cynical sarcasm is still intact, the positivity is only work related.  Have a great day and happy protesting!!

Peacefully,
Chantale aka hippiegrrl

Links of note:
cordelia calls it quits
the happiness project
project happiness
brazen careerist

rise up buffalo has been looking into the possibility of going completely local with our diet. the 100 mile diet, to be exact. in order to do this though, a few items may need to be given up in the winter months and other items given up altogether. with the help of a few great websites, we are learning more about eating locally and how it can help the environment while keeping our local farms in production.

local harvest is a great resource for finding and maintaining the means to eat locally. you can punch in your personal zip code and the site will show you all the farms in your area. there is also a wonderful section of the site explaining why we should buy locally and the effect it has on our planets and local economies. just in case you needed an explanation or would like to be more informed in discussing this 100 mile option with friends and family.

quoting from the sites about us page – “The Buy Local movement is quickly taking us beyond the promise of environmental responsibility that the organic movement delivered, and awakening the US to the importance of community, variety, humane treatment of farm animals, and social and environmental responsibility in regards to our food economy.”

for an even more in depth explanation about buying local, check out sustainable table.

isn’t this cause to at least give it a try? see what we can do as a community to continue the sustainability of our local farms and, while doing so, help the greater ecological issues we are facing in this current time.

staying on the local topic, but away from food there is a new movement in our buffalo community to buy local goods from retailers in our area. buffalo first “aims to encourage Western New York residents to make purchases at locally-owned independent business whenever possible. We also encourage local “mom and pop” stores to source with Buffalo’s farmers, producers and retailers; and work with local nonprofits, credit unions and other institutions whenever they can.” they are getting in on the movement as well, so isn’t it about time for you?

peace & happy marching!
hippiegrrl

When I say I want to go back to the seventies, it has more to do with technology than nostalgia.  Yes, I realize that I am sitting at a computer in a separate room from my husband, listening to a Pandora playlist online, while I type this into a word processing program.  Meanwhile, he sits on the couch in the living room, simultaneously watching television, checking the scores for a Yankees game on his iPod and texting his brother and cousin on his cellphone.  Without technology our lives would be empty.  Or would they?

This is a question I have been pondering for the past couple weeks.  Noticing that since I have left school I have less need for my cellphone, more time to read books, and less pull toward the computer.  If I could find a mid-range typewriter, something from 1985, I would be content to type on that, rather than a word processing program.  Heck, I would be content with an Apple IIe, if I could type my thoughts and then save them to a floppy disc.  I have been writing, by hand, in a journal and I am also content with that.  I do, however, notice that my hand cramps up more easily these days, since I am now more used to typing than writing.

I suppose that it has to start from inside.  This year I will start learning how to devolve back to earlier technology.  Making actual files in an accordion folder, rather than files on a flash drive.  Reading books that I can hold in my hand and turn the pages of, rather than reading articles on a computer screen.  Searching for a typewriter to collect my thoughts that come too quick for me to write in my journal.  These are small changes, but they are good.  That way, when the power goes out or the internet is suddenly unavailable, I have a way to collect my thoughts without relying so heavily on technology.  If I can do it, anyone can.

We have come to rely on this technology to live.  Not to actually exist, but to be.  Without the ability to check twitter and Facebook and the absence of email, the silence of a turned off cellphone becomes dreadfully desperate.  Without text messages to tell me that I am still breathing, however will I know I am still alive?

My iTunes playlist keeps me fully grounded in the decades ranging from the 1960’s to the 1990’s, with the exception of very few recent hit songs or underground artists.  By having the list constantly playing, throughout the course of my workday, I can be transported back to high school, Gords, or Rockwell hall at a moments notice.  As it spins to Alanis Morissette, I am reminded of my prom, not the happiest of memories, but a memory nonetheless.  Spinning to Chaka Kahn takes me back to my parents living room, sitting on the floor, as a ten year old, glued to HBO as Breakin’ is broadcast for the masses.  Trent Reznor oozes out of the speakers and I am transported to St. Catherines on a Friday night in 1995 where my best friend and I are in full Goth mode, on the dance floor, worshiping the gods of industrial music while drinking $2 blues and smoking cloves.  Everything is perfect.  Everything is new or different or just good.

Step right up, march, push, crawl right up on your knees, please, feed, greed, no time to hesitate. Trent Reznor

After reading an essay by Chuck Klosterman about The Empire Strikes Back and Reality Bites, I have suddenly realized why my obsession with the latter movie has been so strong.  I also realize that I am not alone in this obsession.  It is not a particularly good movie, but it certainly hits home.  It signifies everything about my 20’s.  I spent the bulk of that decade (1994-2004) in coffeehouses, either working or hanging out, sometimes both.  The beginning I spent in college and the end I spent in a dead end (although somewhat prestigious, in the IT department of a bank, but in the end, dead end) job.  At the very end (right before turning 30) I got married to someone who was in basically the same situation as me.  We were both in jobs that we knew we were not going to maintain forever, but they paid the bills.  We both hung out in coffeehouses and were disenfranchised, to use a sad, yet true, stereotype.  Or at least we felt disenfranchised, which is actually the same thing as being disenfranchised.  Self inflicted disenfranchisement.  This is a symptom of the Generation X group.  We have this in common, even if we do not want to admit it.  Each time a song from the 90’s is used in a commercial (which is beginning to be more and more prevalent this century) I, along with a whole generation of 30-somethings, cringe.  We are less unambivalent about this happening than our parents were.

I distinctly remember discussing this with my mother at the age of 20, the first time Pontiac used Jimi Hendrix (Fire) to try and sell their cars. I asked her, “isn’t that upsetting?” and she responded “somewhat, but what can you do?”  Well!  I say you can do a lot.  Don’t buy a Pontiac, tell everyone you know not to buy a Pontiac and begin an online campaign to stop using hippie (anti-establishment) music to sell products.  That would be my response, but hey – I’m a disenfranchised slacker – so that’s the way it goes.  I will sit in a coffeehouse and talk about protest, but how often do I get off my ass and follow through.   That was the legacy of my parents generation, so maybe they are a bit too tired to fight the good fight against corporate America.   They were too busy, in their youth, fighting for equal rights and against the war.  Obviously, there is a gulf between us, at least from this standpoint.

Well I used to stand for something, but forgot what that could be, there’s a lot of me inside you, maybe you’re afraid to see. Trent Reznor